在生不生孩子上，我很纠结，于是问了 chatgpt 在 Reddit 上，有不少关于“是否要孩子”以及讨论与之相关话题的主题和社区。这些社区汇聚了有类似疑问、经验分享或持不同观点的人群，能为你提供多元的讨论与建议。
与“是否要孩子”相关的 Reddit 社区：
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- 主题：专为那些选择不生孩子或对不育文化感兴趣的人创建。
- 讨论内容：
- 不想要孩子的理由。
- 社会压力和家庭期待。
- 对生活质量、经济、自由的讨论。
- 适合人群：有明确不生育计划或对此感兴趣的人。
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- 主题：讨论养育子女的各种经验和挑战。
- 讨论内容：
- 对有孩子生活的真实分享。
- 解决与孩子相关的问题。
- 对比有孩子和无孩子的生活。
- 适合人群：在考虑生孩子或想了解育儿生活的具体情况。
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- 主题：更严格聚焦于选择不生孩子的个体，避免亲子话题。
- 讨论内容：
- 对社会和文化的批判性讨论。
- 生育与环境资源的关系。
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- 主题：以哲学和伦理角度讨论反生育主义。
- 讨论内容：
- 是否应该选择生育的哲学思考。
- 对生命与痛苦的深入探讨。
- 适合人群：喜欢哲学和伦理思辨的人。
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- 主题：为选择只生育一个孩子的家庭提供支持。
- 讨论内容：
- 为什么选择只生一个孩子。
- 社会对少生育的看法。
- 适合人群：考虑少生或了解少生育生活方式的人。
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- 主题：为尚未决定是否生孩子的人提供交流平台。
- 讨论内容：
- 生孩子和不生孩子的利弊分析。
- 个人故事分享。
- 适合人群：对生育选择犹豫不决的人。
如何参与这些社区？
- 先浏览帖文：阅读现有的讨论，找到与你相关的话题。
- 发帖提问：如果有具体问题，可以发帖请求建议。
- 参与讨论：对他人的问题或评论发表看法，分享你的经验。
如果你正在犹豫是否生孩子，这些社区是很好的资源，可以帮助你从多角度了解生活的不同可能性。
I think one misconception is that childfree people act on fear and people with children act on desire. 我认为一种误解是，没有孩子的人因恐惧而行动，而有孩子的人因欲望而行动。
It's the questions like "but who will look after you when you're older?" "What if you regret it?" "What legacy will you leave?" "You'll be missing out on the most incredible love." ... All of these responses to people who are childfree or leaning in that direction (like myself) indicate to me that many people who decide to have kids do so at least in part because of fear. 诸如“但是当你老了谁来照顾你”之类的问题。 “如果你后悔了怎么办？” “你会留下什么遗产？” “你会错过最不可思议的爱情。” ……对那些没有孩子或倾向于这个方向的人（比如我自己）的所有这些反应向我表明，许多决定要孩子的人至少部分是因为恐惧而这样做。
Similar to what u/HouseRavenclaw touched on, I think fear can be useful as a data point (and if we don't let it run our lives). For instance: I have a fear that I won't have the time or the energy to look after myself anymore if I have kids. I worry I'll be overweight and depressed, compared to where I am now which is physically strong and mentally stable. 与u/HouseRavenclaw提到的类似，我认为恐惧可以作为一个有用的数据点（如果我们不让它主宰我们的生活）。例如：我担心如果我有了孩子，我将没有时间或精力照顾自己。我担心与现在身体强壮、精神稳定的我相比，我会超重和抑郁。
What does this tell me? I value self-care and making time to do things that keep me healthy. 这告诉我什么？我重视自我保健，并腾出时间去做能让我保持健康的事情。
That is a positive thing that I want to actively continue cultivating in my life. So rather than running away from an unhealthy version of me, I'm running towards a version of me that I love.
To end on: the whole conversation about regret is such a powerful one and I think a lot of people make the decision to have kids because they fear they'll regret not having kids. For me, I want to be able to look at my hypothetical kid and say "I had you because I wanted you with a burning passion" rather than "I had you because I was worried I'd regret not having you later on." 最后：关于后悔的整个对话是如此有力，我认为很多人做出生孩子的决定是因为他们担心自己会后悔没有孩子。对我来说，我希望能够看着我假想的孩子，说“我拥有你是因为我充满激情地想要你”，而不是“我拥有你是因为我担心以后会后悔没有你。”
I would rather regret not having kids than having kids. 我宁愿后悔没有生孩子，也不愿生孩子。
Deciding to have kids based on the fact that I might wish in the future that I had decided to have kids is not reasoning that I'm comfortable with. 基于我将来可能希望生孩子的事实来决定生孩子，这并不是我觉得舒服的推理。
We don't have a crystal ball. It's futile to try to picture how our lives will be in 20, 30 years because there is just so much uncertainty. So making a decision based on current information makes the most sense, at least in my eyes.
https://www.reddit.com/r/antinatalism/comments/1gyqp23/a_letter_to_my_nonexisting_child/
Dear Not Going to Born Child,
亲爱的未出生的孩子，
I’m writing to you even though you’ll never exist. It feels strange and pointless, but maybe that’s the whole point. Maybe it’s just me trying to make sense of things, even when there’s no real sense to be found. 即使你永远不会存在，我还是写信给你。这感觉很奇怪而且毫无意义，但也许这就是重点。也许这只是我试图理解事物的意义，即使找不到真正的意义。
You’re not here, and that’s a choice I made. Life is hard. It’s messy, confusing, and full of pain. Nobody asks to be born, yet we all get thrown into this world and told to figure it out. You, though, you’re free from all that. You’ll never have to deal with the struggles, the heartbreaks, or the endless search for meaning in a universe that doesn’t care. 你不在这里，这是我的选择。生活很艰难。它是混乱的、令人困惑的、充满痛苦的。没有人要求出生，但我们都被扔到这个世界上并被告知要弄清楚它。然而，你却摆脱了这一切。你永远不必面对挣扎、心碎或在一个不在乎的宇宙中无休止地寻找意义。
If you had been born, I know you would have faced the same questions I do. Why are we here? Why does it hurt so much to live? You would have chased dreams that never felt quite enough, carried burdens that weren’t yours to bear, and wondered if any of it was worth it. 如果你出生了，我知道你也会面临和我一样的问题。我们为什么在这里？为什么活着会这么痛苦？你会追逐永远感觉不够的梦想，承担不属于你的负担，并想知道其中是否值得。
By not having you, I think I’ve done you a favor. You don’t have to go through the endless cycle of life—fighting, failing, hoping, and hurting. Some might call this selfish, but I think it’s kindness. 没有你，我想我帮了你一个忙。你不必经历生命的无尽循环——战斗、失败、希望和伤害。有些人可能会说这是自私，但我认为这是善良。
Still, even as I write this, I can’t escape the contradiction. If life doesn’t really mean anything, why does it matter if you’re here or not? If pain is just part of being alive, would it have made a difference? These thoughts go in circles, and maybe that’s just how it is. 尽管如此，即使在我写这篇文章的时候，我也无法回避这个矛盾。如果生命真的没有任何意义，那么你是否在这里又有何意义呢？如果痛苦只是活着的一部分，它会有所不同吗？这些想法一直在循环，也许事情就是这样。
You’ll never wonder why the world works the way it does or why people hurt each other. You’ll never feel the deep sadness or brief joy that comes with being alive. You’ll never ask me the big questions, and I’ll never fail to give you answers. 你永远不会想知道为什么世界会这样运转，或者为什么人们会互相伤害。你永远不会感受到活着所带来的深深的悲伤或短暂的快乐。你永远不会问我重大问题，我也永远不会不给你答案。
In a way, you’re perfect. Untouched. Free. A blank page that never had to be scribbled on. I like to think that by not bringing you into this chaos, I’ve saved you from it all. 从某种程度上来说，你是完美的。未受影响。自由的。一张永远不必在上面乱写乱画的空白页。我喜欢认为，通过不让你陷入这种混乱，我已经把你从这一切中拯救出来了。
And so, I leave you here, not as a person but as an idea. A reflection of my own doubts and fears. You are the child who will never cry, never laugh, and never have to ask, “Why?” 所以，我把你留在这里，不是作为一个人，而是作为一个想法。反映了我自己的怀疑和恐惧。你是那个永远不会哭，永远不会笑，也永远不必问“为什么？”的孩子。
Yours, The Parent You’ll Never Need. 您的，您永远不需要的父母。
https://www.reddit.com/r/antinatalism/comments/1gy64ai/bring_people_into_this_world_without_their/
突然想成为哲学家
确切地。大多数人的运作方式都非常机械化。他们没有奇特的想法，只有合规的剧本。许多研究（例如标准监狱、米尔格拉姆休克）都已对此案表明了这一点。他们依靠快速判断和启发法。
Yes, you are correct. They seem to love their suffering, pain, subjugation, and torture to a degree since they are so nonchalant about encouraging change for the benefit of future generations. They are compliant about anything no matter how negative, absurd, or terrible it is. They are just dumb sheep. Many of them are so compliant with this greedy, exploitative, evil global economic system that makes them miserable. Instead of trying to revolt and overthrow this evil system, they just accept it. Imagine being the majority and willingly complying with and being under the thumb of the 1% just because they own everything. It speaks volumes about humanity's sheepish nature. We have to become commodities to this system and have to work and earn a bunch of pieces of paper throughout our lives to be able to pay for nearly everything in this place even though we never asked to be here but had life imposed on us against our will.
斯坦利·米尔格拉姆 书籍《对权威的服从：一次逼近人性真相的心理学实验》
服从性测试
嗯，这个“顺从实验”呢，其实就是米尔格拉姆叔叔想知道，人会不会因为听大人的话，做一些他们其实不想做的事情。这个实验是这样的： 米尔格拉姆叔叔让一些人来参加一个“学习实验”，但其实是装的！参与的人被安排做“老师”，他们要教另一个人，也就是“学生”，回答问题。如果“学生”答错了，“老师”就要按按钮给“学生”电一下。电击会从小电变成超级大电，还会听到“学生”大喊大叫，说“好痛啊！别电我了！”。不过，“学生”其实没有真的被电，他们是在假装喊痛！ 但是问题来了，有一个穿白大褂的“科学家叔叔”站在“老师”旁边，不断地说：“没关系，继续电，实验需要你继续。” 很多“老师”虽然觉得这样不好，但还是听了话，把电击一直加到很大的程度！其实大多数人都不想电别人，可他们因为听从“科学家叔叔”的命令，还是继续了。 米尔格拉姆叔叔通过这个实验发现，人们有时候会因为害怕权威（比如实验里的“科学家叔叔”），而做一些本来觉得不对的事情。这个实验告诉我们，要勇敢地思考是不是在做正确的事，而不是只因为听话就去做不对的事情。
中式教育的服从性测试
链接：https://www.zhihu.com/question/650994166/answer/3626902297 来源：知乎 因为现在的中式教育就是一场服从性测试服从性测试的概念源于社会心理学家斯坦利·米尔格拉姆在1963年做的“顺从实验”，该实验旨在考察人们在遭遇权威者下达违背良心的命令时，是否会做出服从行为。实验结果显示，人们对权威的服从程度远远超过想象，即使面对不道德的要求，许多人仍会选择服从你在学校90％学习的知识都无法在毕业以后使用，并且这些知识仅仅过去几年都会忘记大半，既然这些知识大都没有用处，那么学校为什么还以此来作为衡量一个人的标准？因为学习这些知识是需要花费大量的时间，你在此之中必须要服从老师，学校的所有安排，从早上7点一直到晚上十点，一共十五个小时的时间（重庆高中这边大都是这个作息时间）必须无休止地学习，在这些时间里你对老师是高度服从的，就算心有不甘但是很少当面坦言。而这些服从的习惯会跟随你一生，当你毕业以后，你又会向领导服从，因为你会想，反正自己从小就是这么干的，并不会有任何反抗的意愿。这就是中式教育会教育你服从的原因。因为它是为了给社会制造社畜的，他的主要目的或许也有选拔科技人才，但如今的情况是——这种教育模式根本不会教育出真正有创新思维的人才的。这也是为什么很多人抨击他，因为他们认为这种教育不是基于培养人才的，这种教育压制个体个性，有成绩至上的价值观，忽视对批判性思维和创新精神的培养，真正的教育不应当是这样的。这种充满服从意味的填鸭式教育（即老师将大量的知识一股脑地灌输给学生，而学生则被动地接受这些知识，只是背诵，从不思考它的来龙去脉），至少在我看来，是需要改变的。
Precisely. 恰恰。
Education is portrayed as something benefiting the individual, when it is in fact only an indoctrination centre where workers are produced for the benefit of those in power. The entire system is so sick and transparent to anyone with logical reasoning. Unfortunately most people are clueless to this fact and champion the conveyer belt as something to be kept in operation. 教育被描绘成有利于个人的事物，而实际上它只是一个灌输中心，为当权者的利益而生产工人。整个系统对于任何有逻辑推理的人来说都是如此病态和透明。不幸的是，大多数人对这一事实一无所知，并拥护传送带作为保持运行的东西。
Learning new stuff for no particular reason at all is one of the very few things that truly give me joy. The freedom to explore any topic I want. 毫无特殊原因地学习新东西是真正给我带来快乐的极少数事情之一。自由探索我想要的任何主题。
Apparently that's not a good enough reason for the rest of the society. The only time it makes sense to do something is if it makes money. All efforts must be directed towards chasing money. 显然，对于社会其他人来说，这并不是一个足够好的理由。做某事唯一有意义的时候就是它能赚钱。所有的努力都必须指向追逐金钱。
Low consumption, minimalism leads towards spiritualism and true bliss. Hoarding is anyway bad for the environment not to mention how much time and energy it takes out of a person to first research a lot, then buy then calculate if it was a fair amount to be paid for that product (this step is done both pre and post any consumption) mull over it, then organisation and taking care of those things, not worth it. Apart from the necessities and the things that make one's life easier, everything is consumerism. 低消费、极简主义通向唯灵论和真正的幸福。无论如何，囤积对环境都是有害的，更不用说一个人需要花费多少时间和精力来首先进行大量研究，然后购买，然后计算为该产品支付的金额是否合理（此步骤在预先完成）并发布任何消费）仔细考虑一下，然后组织并照顾这些事情，不值得。除了必需品和让生活更轻松的东西之外，一切都是消费主义。
School is to produce workers/employees. Self education, vision and creativity is needed to become a leader 学校是为了培养工人/雇员。成为领导者需要自我教育、远见和创造力
But here's the thing: the absurd doesn’t necessarily need to depress you—it can free you. Camus said that once you realize that life doesn’t have inherent meaning, you don’t have to keep struggling against that fact. You’re free to create your own meaning. It’s a bit like being handed a blank canvas with no rules about what should go on it. Sure, you can keep chasing the same tired goals, but you could also embrace the fact that none of this is as serious as we're told it is. 但事情是这样的：荒诞不一定会让你沮丧——它可以让你自由。加缪说，一旦你意识到生命没有固有的意义，你就不必继续与这个事实作斗争。你可以自由地创造你自己的意义。这有点像一张空白的画布，没有关于上面应该写什么的规则。当然，你可以继续追逐同样疲惫的目标，但你也可以接受这样一个事实：这一切都没有我们听说的那么严重。 https://www.reddit.com/r/antinatalism/comments/1h61p0g/living_only_for_the_sole_predatory_purpose_of/
https://www.reddit.com/r/antinatalism/comments/1h5mgws/most_peoples_lives_are_spent_finding_distractions/ Ironically, I think that many people have kids exactly because it's a great distraction from the horrors of everyday life. The close connection you feel to your kids and the unconditional love they have for you are emotionally soothing and the endless tasks with kids keep you busy. Double win.
具有讽刺意味的是，我认为许多人生孩子正是因为这能让他们从日常生活的恐怖中分心。你与孩子之间的亲密关系以及他们对你的无条件的爱在情感上是舒缓的，与孩子的无休止的任务让你很忙。双赢。
This x 1000. Their lives are an empty, meaningless, existential horror show and they think kids will provide them with the reason for being alive. 这x 1000。他们的生活是一场空虚、毫无意义、存在主义的恐怖秀，他们认为孩子会给他们提供活着的理由。
And then their kids think the same, and their kids, and the whole hideous carousal goes round and round and round. 然后他们的孩子也这么想，他们的孩子，整个可怕的狂欢不断地进行着。
Found three more ways people goof themselves: 发现人们还有三种自欺欺人的方式：
Isolation - put the fear and inevitability of death in the back of your mind, don’t think about it. 孤立——把死亡的恐惧和不可避免的事情抛在脑后，不去想它。
Anchoring - Tie your self worth and identity to something greater than yourself, gods, country, family, political party, sports teams, ideology, work etc. 锚定——将你的自我价值和身份与比你自己、神、国家、家庭、政党、运动队、意识形态、工作等更伟大的事物联系起来。
Escapism - Like OP said, just find something fun to take your mind off of it. My personal favorite is video games, I’m sure you have a favorite too be it movies, books, trashy reality shows etc. 逃避现实——就像OP说的，找一些有趣的事情来转移你的注意力。我个人最喜欢的是电子游戏，我相信你也有最喜欢的，无论是电影、书籍、垃圾真人秀等等。
Sublimation - Take your socially unacceptable taboo views on death and pain and sublimate them into a form of art, the taboo is gone and you can finally be heard. These are the musicians, artists and creatives. 升华——把你对死亡和痛苦的社会不可接受的禁忌观点升华为一种艺术形式，禁忌消失了，你终于可以被听到。他们是音乐家、艺术家和创意人士。 I found that nearly every human activity is an extension of one of these four coping mechanisms dealing with death. Sometimes there’s even a mix. If you’re interested in these concepts and more I’d suggest picking up the book “The Conspiracy Against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror by Thomas Ligotti.
我发现，几乎每一项人类活动都是这四种应对死亡的机制之一的延伸。有时甚至有混合。如果你对这些概念感兴趣，我建议你读托马斯·利戈蒂的《反人类阴谋：恐怖的对抗》一书。